When I read Chapter 3, entitled Sweet Surrender, of Breathing Under Water Spirituality and The Twelve Steps written by Richard Rohr, OFM, I read about "Sacrificial Love". Fr. Rohr explains that "Sacrificial Love" is not really love at all, but a way to boost one's own ego, self-worth and self-importance while acting very much like a martyr.
I realized, as I read the words, that I have, more often than not, "loved sacrificially." I have looked at certain relationships in terms of what I've done and how I've loved in spite of feeling ignored, disregarded, rejected. I still hung on and still loved but never really understood, until now, that wasn't really love. That was ego-based, self-serving and certainly designed and doomed to fail.
Reading about "Sacrificial Love" was such an epiphany for me. A stunning revelation of how I have approached many relationships. That is not to say that the none of the feelings were real or genuine or that I do not and have not really loved anyone in my life. But the seeds of that real love grew into "Sacrificial Love".
I read the chapter again and will continue to read and meditate on the words. It continues to be both illuminating and humbling to realize and understand that what I have called love and what I have done because I love has not been love at all. Rather it has been a way to boost my own ego and convince myself that I love better than the person I said I love. No wonder I have struggled to love unconditionally. How could my love be unconditional when it wasn't real love at all.
"Holy Mary, Mother of Creation, bless us that we may experience God
as Love in praise of all creatures, in love of all of creation. Amen."
Father Michael Adams - www.livingrosaries.org
Peace and Blessing!
Sister Pat, FMT
