I am a catholic...

I am a catholic. I cannot imagine being anything but catholic. I have never even attended a service that was not catholic. I have, on occasion, been in non-catholic churches, once for a concert and the other, interestingly enough, for Mass. The first time I entered those churches, I expected them to looked exactly like the catholic churches. Perhaps that was naive of me, but then again, I had only been in catholic churches and really did not know how other churches were designed.
I am also gay and a woman. Perhaps my not only being, but wanting to remain catholic, seems a surprise given the Roman Catholic Church's stance on homosexuality and it's unwillingness to allow women a greater and more equal role in the Church. But remember, I said I am catholic. I never said I am Roman catholic. Oh I know, Roman is catholic and catholic is Roman, so it goes without saying, right? Well, not exactly, not necessarily and not always. I was raised in the roman catholic tradition. I was educated at roman catholic elementary and high schools with roman catholic Sisters.
I even struggled with the idea of being gay and roman catholic for awhile until I realized that the God who created me as I am loves me as I am. I stopped thinking I had choose between the different parts of who I am and started embracing all the parts of who I am. I attended Mass at roman churches although I often felt a bit uncomfortable because I thought "if they knew I was gay, they would not be so welcoming." Then I discovered the Independent Catholic Movement and, in particular, Holy Angels Catholic Community. They offer "love without judgment" and Mass in the Catholic tradition. They seek to include everyone, rather than excluding anyone.
Oh yes, the roman church will tell anyone and everyone who will listen that attending Mass at any independent catholic church is a sin. That our very souls are in mortal danger. But they have said that many times before every other Christian denomination. I have read the words of Jesus many times and have yet to find that passage which states that the roman church is the only true church.
When I was in high school, at the end of junior year, our homeroom teacher asked if any of us thought about becoming a Nun. That thought never left me and finally I had to find a way to say "Yes". but I knew I could not go into a roman catholic convent. I never called to the "convent". Also I am gay and would not have wanted to lie about that. Well, I finally found a way to say that "yes" through Holy Angels Catholic Community and made my solemn profession of vows on August 15, 2008. So I am an Independent Catholic Sister who happens to be gay.
There is something that puzzles me. A question I have for all catholics who no longer attend any Mass at all, and to women, especially gay women, what happened? Do you just not believe in the catholic tradition anymore? Do you just not believe in anything? Do you feel so alienated by and uncomfortable with the roman church that you have just given up attending Mass?

Holy Mary, Mother of Creation, bless us that we may experience God as Love in praise of all creatures, in love of all of creation. Amen. Father Michael Adams - www.livingrosaries.org


Peace and Blessing! 
Sister Pat, FMT