Matthew, Mark and Luke all write about Jesus going to the Garden of Gethsemane to pray. Although all his disciples accompany him, Jesus takes Peter, James and John a little further and asks them to wait while he prays. Not once, not even twice, but three times Jesus finds his three companions sleeping. He wakes them and asks them why they could not stay awake for even an hour. They are at a loss for words. According to the accounts in the Gospels, they were "overcome' with sleep. Last Saturday at the Palm Sunday Vigil Mass, the Passion and Crucifixion of Christ was read. After the reading, Fr. Joe spoke, in his homily, about the upcoming Holy Week schedule and how our plans to spend some time with God and Jesus are often sidetracked by other events in our lives, some unavoidable and others, perhaps, just distractions.
Both Fr. Joe's words and Jesus asking his disciples why they could not stay awake for an hour stayed with me. I thought about the past few weeks and how I used the excuse of being too tired to get up to say my morning prayers. So I said a very simple prayers some days and maybe a couple of more brief prayers other days. I know that prayer is never ever about quantity. Prayer is all about the quality and sincerity. The story of the Pharisee and the tax collector in the temple certainly exemplifies the message that a prayer doesn't have to be lengthy. But I wasn't even willing to give up just thirty minutes a day!
The disciples couldn't stay awake for an hour. I stayed in bed a half an hour longer than I set my alarm because I, like the disciples, was too tired. Too tired to spend a half an hour in prayer. To tired, too distracted, too whatever to spend the forty days of Lent doing any of the reading and praying I'd planned to do when Lent began. Sure I did well at not having the desserts and/or fried foods I've given up for Lent the past four years. But as for the spiritual part, well, not so good. I'm not sure why I always struggle. I have such high hopes as every Lent begins, but talking the talk is always so much easier than walking the walk. I'm a good talker. I wish I were a better walker.
I decided to take a positive step by having a quiet and reflective Good Friday: no television and no playing Words With Friends or Trivia Crack for twenty-four hours. I also decided to fast for twenty-four hours. I began by praying the Sorrowful Mysteries using Sr. Joan Chittister's In Pursuit Of Peace: Praying the Rosary Through the Psalms. I spent time praying, used the computer only for a short time, attended Good Friday service and ended the twenty-four hour period by once again praying the Sorrowful Mysteries using Sr. Joan's meditations.
The twenty-fours hours of Good Friday gave me the chance to not only spend much needed time in prayer, but to also let go of all the distractions that I hold on to so tightly. I can turn off the television rather than watching reruns that I've seen so many times I almost know all the dialogue. The games can wait. I can stay awake!
God Bless you and keep you!
Sister Pat, FMT
Holy Mary, Mother of Creation,
bless us that we may experience
God as Love in praise of all creatures,
in love of all of creation. Amen.
Father Michael Adams - www.livingrosaries.org
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